Are dumpers afraid to contact It depends on the relationship. Jan 18, 2022 · Dumpers remorse is the residue of love. Otherwise, I’m in no contact. Looks like sometimes he’s doing so great and like but social media isn’t real life. In case of overally long-term, stable relationships (> 5 years). I still am hurting most days. If your ex doesn’t contact you for 6 months that means that they are focused on moving on. Mar 5, 2018 · The majority of dumpers are not afraid to contact dumpees. I'm not here defending dumpers (I've always been dumped myself), but I can appreciate that when someone doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, you have to let them leave. What I am saying is that sometimes the dumpers are the most heartbroken. Healing process as one of the stages of no contact My ex (4 yr relationship - she’s the dumper) reached out 2. But in my honest opinion, he would have still tried if he really wanted to. 1 month no contact. But your ex is perfectly capable of reaching out to you and hasn't, so take from that what you will. I’ve blocked him everywhere but when I’ve stalked (hard not to) I’ve spiraled out of control it hurts. It’s an emotion your ex feels when they break up with you but regret it later. Exhausted. However, prepare yourself. A dumper might go from being content with their decision to feeling anxious. I'm sorry I don't really know what to advise here. People are too harsh towards dumpers. They might feel excited about their new found freedom and have a sense of relief of not being tied down to a relationship they were unhappy in. Even if she's sitting there in silence afraid of rejection, she's still allowing that fear to muzzle her. I’m a dumper. It's not up to the dumpee to do the legwork. I posted here the other day about craving contact from him. Even so, my ex was the dumper and I was always trying to work things out. The dumper also needs to be patient while the dumpee deciphers whether the actions of the dumper are genuine or temporary. Something snapped in me the other day, after he tried breadcrumbing me like 3 times in one day, after being rejected again. Statistically, about 75% of affair marriages end in divorce, but only 5-7% of the affair couple relationships lead to marriage. It felt like since i hurt him, i should not initiate contact until he do. , chasing after them. My last suggestion is, if the no contact rule is too hard and you want them back, then I suggest wait 60 days before contacting them again. Or a good friend from kindergarten times. It won’t help to look for answers to questions like – are dumpers afraid to contact. Dumper here. Who knows, they might not even know. In different ways though. They are genuinely confused but also too emotional immature to take the confusion, walk away, and deal with it on their own. I decided to go NC. The dumper goes from being the avoidant to the anxious one: Feb 10, 2013 · This is a hard one and it's something I've been wondering about too. For most people if you had a fun, loving relationship but couldn't be together for simpler reasons other than cheating, lying etc,,, they blocked you because they don't need a I know my dumper isn’t totally happy with his decision, he might very well regret it. No one should assume that because the dumper made a decision to leave was because they didn’t care. Im curious to the reasons dumpers break contact. But oh well. ” I believe this to a certain extent. Was legitimately afraid to even touch my own freezer, because she'd freak out at me. Dumpers, tell me your experience of breaking no contact. What has been your experiences on this matter. They are afraid to be alone so they want to have a back up in case the grass ain’t greener. Yet, if the dumper doesn’t contact you for 6 months that means that they are not interested in reconciling. She is surprisingly still upset, even after 2 months post-break. I was the dumper in my situation and it sucks too. I think the only time a dumper come back where it could work would be if the dumpee was the problem, and breaking up was consequences of dumpees actions. Feb 28, 2012 · Just wondering if dumpers upon realising they possibly made a mistake do not contact the dumpee out of pride , so they stick by their decisionDo they hope for contact from the dumpee? And if the dumpee is in strict NC do dumpers just cut their losses and move on? Would be interesting to hear thoughts on this, especially from dumperrrrs. we agreed on meeting again on the 6 month no contact mark, but they have yet to reach out and i am too scared to be rejected again if i do. If someone dumped me and told me they don’t want to be with me the last thing I would do is reach out (which I have in the past but not anymore). I mean, there’s no way for him to know how much better I’m doing now. Before asking if you should contact a dumper I’d encourage you to ask yourself if you even want your ex back. How he or she will take the breakup and react to it. This is tenfold if the dumper is an avoidant, as mine was. On the other hand, they might block you to just ease their urge to contact you. I just can't see a good reason to do it. So the stalking bit hurts A LOT and I’m trying not to do that. Members Online They were simply maximising their happiness by leaving you. Dumpers feel tired from the end of the relationship, so […] Every dumper has their reason for ending a relationship. We’re in no contact. Not sure if this is true but from reading a lot of the no contact post it seems that if the man the dumper he will usually break no contact to repair or fix the relationship. My ex has been on my mind, I've analysed everything that I could about her. trust me. No contact can serve as a strong push with all of that on a male dumper. Mar 30, 2022 · At this point, you won’t think of the no contact rule as a great way to get your ex back. I don't buy the whole Dumper's Remorse timeline thing though - I think it's predator tactics from love coaches giving vulnerable people false hope. This means that based on these statistics alone, you’re most likely going to hear from your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in the first 6 months. I wish things were different. Over time, I realized that what I really missed was the relationship; I didn't miss her. Going no contact essentially means cutting off all communication with your ex. I know this isn’t true of everyone, but I know typically the dumper will reach out first after no contact. If you want to contact your ex, then contact them. Instead, they're simply falling victim to their natural avoidant tendencies which makes most people think they're afraid of contacting them. The no-contact rule is typically adopted by the one whom the break-up hits harder – which, in most cases, is the person who has been dumped. There is the rare occasion when the dumper wants the dumpee to reach out because they might assume the dumpee is mad at them and they are unsure of what to say to rectify the situation. Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. It’s a constant struggle sadly. That never came up in all the years we dated and were married before. i just think 6 years and nothing is weird and it can only mean someone else. If you were the dumper than its all up to you to reach out. Yes, it was real. Instead, you’ll see it as an opportunity to get your life back on track. I think anything is possible. The dumper caused it, so it's up to the dumper to fix it if he or she is so inclined. You would usually go no-contact after this person has affected you negatively and it is ultimately better to no longer have anything to do with the person. It depends on how the relationship ended, how much time has passed, how the relationship was overall, and a bunch of other factors that you simply can not attribute to one specific gender. All this dumper vs dumpee stuff is just toxic. it wasn’t healthy for my well-being. My ex sent me a breadcrumb saying “I miss you and hope you are well and enjoy your weekend” 5 days into strict no-contact. Someone who does not respect your boundaries has abusive tendencies - if they already weren't proven to be abusive in the past relationship. Eventually I blocked her everywhere, it was painful to do that, but I knew it was the right thing. People grow apart, and people's needs change. May 2, 2011 · However, most Dumpers don't come back because of new medication, lolso I'd guess most reconciliations fall into one of two categories: 1) The Dumper realizing that the grass ISN'T greener on the other side and in fact is sometimes downright brown and nasty, and 2) the Dumper getting lonely/not satisfied in rebound relationship/getting dumped Thank you for your reply! That's hard to answer because the lack of context regarding the break up. . I'm a dumpee but I really want to understand the other side of the coin. I’m the dumpee and the only reason I’ve reached out to my ex was to discuss house related (we own a house and are in the process of selling) or finance related (joint accounts, bills etc) issues. It is a concept that explains many things to you if you have been broken up with and are confused by your ex’s behavior. But if the dumper boke up with you because you were distant, didnt give her enough attention, or took her for granted, she is is grieving and heart broken and may never reach out. Even if he came back now I'd just feel Does No Contact Affect the Dumper? If you’re wondering if going no contact will affect the dumper, the answer is yes. This might make you ask them for closure and contact them constantly after the breakup. I would Those motivating factors explain male psychology of the no contact rule and how he can be jolted enough to do the very masculine thing of overcoming obstacles to get what he wants and to protect what he sees as his. Members Online Jan 29, 2024 · These two are two different approaches from one another. Don’t generalize this label, the thing is people act differently in various relationships and situations. Jun 5, 2011 · The dumper might themselves be waiting for you to contact them as they get scared as well and not sure how to go about making that contact. The dumper has usually checked out of the relationship a long time before the actual dumping takes place, so why would they stand still for 6 months after that, in the hope their ex has changed? The dumper has no right to break up the relationship and on top of that wanting the dumpee to reach out out of nowhere without even first giving the other person a sign that they want them back. on other side I think this hurts less than you found out she seeing someone behind your back. In total, we broke up 6-7 times, 3 of which times I ended. It might make me happy now, but I don't know what the future holds. In these initial stages, they focus entirely on themselves as self-focus allows them to feel comfortable, safe, Posted by u/Sea-Contact-2575 - 4 votes and 6 comments Any form of contact hurts me deeply and takes me a very long time to recover from. You need to make yourself happy first and No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. But I guess you can never know if they care by solely relying on wether they’ve reached out or not, even though them not reaching out seems to indicate that they are not thinking about you. Usually dumpers don't want the dumpee contacting them withhin first few weeks after the break up and later on they either don't mind or they want the dumpee to contact them because they start regretting the break up but are too afraid to admit it, and their pride is stopping them When I was the dumper, i was really sad but did not reach out to him because i did not want to affect his healing. The dumper needs to go through a few extensive stages that have deep emotional impacts and changes to reach dumpers remorse. There were problems we needed to solve together and there were things needed to be communicated. The dumper reduces emotional support and possibly sexual contact for the dumpee. ARE DUMPERS AFRAID TO REACH OUT TO DUMPEES?? after months In this video, I discuss why no contact creates dumper validation. I haven't seen too many post where women dumpers have broke no contact to fix a relationship. 5 months of NC and I was so excited to hear from her, only to be let down as she ignored attempts to mention our relationship. She wanted kids me with, I didnt want to. Stop overthinking about the dumper and dumpee psychology. I do wonder if my dumper is afraid to text me, not because he’s afraid I moved on, but because he’s afraid I’m still angry with him. This subreddit is for support for those that have, or want to, go no-contact. Me and my ex (female) broke up recently after a 5 year relationship. Hey, I was sort of the dumper in my most recent relationship. broke up 7 months ago, no contact for 6. I'm still lost and can't after 8 months really tell what was the critical mistake we did, but maybe my dumper can't either. Mar 28, 2022 · Why I Believe The Dumpee Should Contact The Dumper If You Want Them Back. He had replaced me less than a month later and threw a party to celebrate my absence. if anything - no contact can mean hes scared of you. In hindsight I should have bounced a week in because I couldn't meet her understandable needs in that short amount of time, instead I let it get to the point where I fell in love, she didn't. I loved her but she cheated so I walked. There’s the initial relief and freedom from ending the relationship. But reaching out, like you said, is cruel as it strings people along and gives them false hope. While dumpers may have an easier time moving through the breakup stages, they still experience many of the same When my ex gf broke up with me, she told me she still loves me and hopes we can get back together in the future, and she just needs to grow as an individual. Of course the dumpees could break the N/C for a mature conversation but high % that The dumpers are satisfied there ego and want more the feeling of power => they will be hot and cold for getting more Jan 13, 2023 · Cutting off contact with the Dumper is a difficult but necessary step in order to move on and heal. Or at least that’s what I believe. You surely don't deserve someone dates someone new two months later. Even though she’s the dumper and if they miss me they’ll contact me, I’m afraid this isn’t always the case. Jan 29, 2024 · ~When an ex doesn’t contact you after 6 months. Jan 29, 2024 · Have you ever wondered during the No Contact Rule which is the exact moment that your absence and the breakup hit the dumper? It depends on the person. EDIT: all reasons are welcome, I appreciate everyone answering and all answers are insightful but those dumpers who broke up with a partner they loved/still love so much for reasons that don’t involve abuse, manipulation, or cheating, I would really love You might have outgrown her in those six months. My ex of 9 years was shame-based our whole relationship. You ended it, and if they fought during the BU then they really cared and wanted it to work because of the shock. Well my boyfriend or I don't no if I can call him that, he ghost me, I haven't heard from him in 3 days now, he never reply back my text at this point I cosider the relationship over. That’s the WHOLE point of no contact. you need to block this guy everywhere Being the dumper does hurt… but not as bad as the dumpee. The majority of dumpers are not afraid to contact dumpees. But it's one of those things where I said, okay, I can't share my life with this person, she's too unreasonable and I can't get through to her. This why I’m afraid to open up to someone I’m into”lost the spark” shit is something can’t be fix, it’s hurts because that’s answer and also the reason. Dumpers feel tired from the end of the relationship, so they go through the stages of a breakup for the dumper, starting with the relief and elation stage. But We blocked everything. Oh gosh! 3 months is a long time!!! Yeah it’s really a mind fuck! It’s just bizarre! We broke up over the phone and truthfully, I think it was a spur of the moment decision (not to say it hadn’t crossed his mind) but I was the one that called him and we talked about our day, then talked about a miscommunication from the night before, and he just ended it! 5 days ago · It won’t help to look for answers to – are dumpers afraid to contact. As a dumper, I'm going through the urge to contact my ex and its pretty bad. If you do try, it might hurt you more, or things might change, it might be worth it giving it a try and the least you can get is closure. You can imagine how much shame she felt dumping me the day of our anniversary, when she caused the fight the night before and threatened to wreck my car by swerving erratically (with the dog in the back no less), physically assaulting me, then threatening suicide. Right after a breakup the dumper is relieved and will do everything in their power to try to detach. It also sometimes works in reverse (sort of), where one person wants the relationship to end but refuses to be the one to initiate it, so they do everything from stonewalling and being distant to the silent treatment and avoidance to causing arguments long enough that the other person finally gets fed up and does the breaking up. Yeah, I regret it a lot. They figure (he/she probably hates me for what I did) but still wants to get in contact with you. People dump their partners for different reasons. Dumpers feel tired from the end of the relationship, so […] Jun 14, 2022 · For dumpers, the NO contact rule allows them the relief of not having to deal with the aftermath of the break up. They left because they coildnt take being treated poorly or like they were always an These kinds of responses show the dumper that they don’t have to act on their curiosity right now, because you are right there where they left you and all the good work of no contact will have been undone. And in this situation is getting an ex back as well as have a better relationship. Your Ex Must Have Experience and Realizations. 10 Quick and Easy DIY Ideas! AMAZING ROOM MAKEOVER || Coolest Hacks and DIY Decor Ideas on a BUDGET by 123 GO! Many of us feel resentment toward our dumpers, but I'm convinced that dumpers are not villains and I'd like to really dive into a dumper's perspective to understand more, really trying to empathize. I miss him dearly after ending it 2 months ago. This is why No Contact is so popular. The dumpee, on the other hand, must learn whether or not this person is going to repeat the actions that led to them separating in the first place - that is a risk too. I blocked him on everything. He has now broken up with me for the second time. I know my ex is one of the most stubborn and prideful people I know and I know even if she wanted to contac As a dumper I have not moved on. Aug 3, 2012 · the fact that I'm the dumper - I'm not afraid to reach out to him. See them for who they really are. If you use the no contact rule, Yep. Members Online So yes, I am the dumper. You can’t go from lovers to acquaintances. Also, the dumper doesn’t want to look like a damn fool crawling back to the dumpee. That has nothing to do with being a dumpee or dumper. Like a teacher. Reply reply I know you all may say that I should be done if he left me (also this is the second time the first was 2 years ago for his mental health he felt like he couldn't be a good boyfriend to me while dealing with that, we got back together 2. I have been the dumpee in 2 relationships, but also a dumper most recently. I'm not going to beg for someone's love and respect. If they didnt fight maybe its because they are strong and dont want to show vulnerability and try to move on asap because theyve accepted better than you wouldve thought. And suddenly I was not afraid to lose him anymore. 4. Remember dumpers are all different. exboyfriendrecovery. That period of contact after the breakup was rough because I felt like I was still responsible for maintaining her emotions, and while I limited contact I wasn't brave enough to stop completely. Our members listen, support, and encourage each other on their path to independence. I wish he would have fought for me. She hasn’t said anything and it’s day 16 of no-contact. I idealized him so much. There's no answer that would have given me peace to a degree I would have wanted. Was it healthy or was it toxic? Don't check their social media. I just replied politely that I was doing well and I hope she was too. This is one of the stages of the no contact rule where you, as a dumpee, may feel confused but relieved at the same time. ive been the dumper in numerous relationships and i think its ultimately up to us to reach out. And if the dumpee is not receptive to that and isn't paying attention (being complacent and taking the other person for granted) , that's not the dumpers problem. Don’t be afraid to leave that 10 year relationship or divorce someone. hang in there the restaurant thing would make me sick. So yeah, again, I'm the dumper but I had Me: 10 days no contact. there is no point. As a dumper who delt with regret and a rather cruel form of depression that eventually followed, I found it difficult to reach out to someone who engaged in that no contact silent treatment thing instead of staying in contact so we could talk things out. Thank you. What do the dumpers feel during no contact? Although each breakup/ending is different, how do the dumpers feel? Including having them blocked everywhere and not speaking to them despite having mutual friends. There’s really no rule that says you have to fight for anything or anyone. Members Online All I gave her was empty platitudes because I was scared of losing her but more scared to be the functioning adult I needed to be. Now, the only clear thing when there is no contact initiated by the dumper is that they don’t really want a new start. Especially if you’re a avoidant attachment style, you blindsided your ex, or monkey branched, or you thought “grass is greener”, etc. For this reason, your ex is going to block you just to have some time on their own. It won’t help you at this point. Jan 15, 2021 · Coach Lee explains the experience that the dumper has from the point of breaking up with you through the stages of no contact. Oct 24, 2023 · Moving on from the pain and aftermath of a breakup is a challenging journey for both the dumper and the dumpee. In the sense that you were an important part of their life. Instead, they're simply falling victim to their natural avoidant tendencies which makes most people think they're afraid of contacting them. Being afraid of being with one person the rest of your life is being afraid of "missing out" on another "great person". This isn’t a definite answer to whether your ex will want to come back or not. There were so many sleepless nights I spent crying next to him because he didn't want to talk through any conflict (ex. And while your ex feeling this emotion does increase your chances of I'm afraid that after too long not in contact he will move on :( Reply reply You’re heart broken but so is the dumper, you both are trying to move on. ive reached out lots of times but my hand was practically forced so it never changed the outcome. The right thing to do is let them contact you. She replied that she was and thank you. You don’t owe anyone your loyalty. We were fighting way too much and was scared that we wouldve screwed everything. Also after a few months, if you do no contact for the right reasons, not getting an ex back, you will start feeling better after 2 months and even better after 3 months and so on. The dumper may not reach out because they think you're hurting still, after all, you're still in no contact (and EVERYONE knows, your dumper included, that no contact is a tool to help heal before anything else). If the dumper blocks you or cuts contact with you, it's not because you meant nothing to them, but because you meant everything to them. Jul 29, 2012 · * they're afraid of being alone and want someone around they can always count on for emotional support Generally dumpers lose interest in having you around once they're secure in their next relationship. It does more harm than good. Now, chasing can resemble many behaviours, but most commonly it boils down to initiating some form of contact, be that through a text, call or in real life. As a rule, avoid chasing-like behaviors at all costs. I want to know how he is feeling. I want to reach out, but I'm afraid he would yell of me like he does before, so I just think that he never care and I'm afraid to reach out to him. The dumper and the dumpee, both go through pain, anxiety, fear of loss, jealousy, hate, and reconsideration through different stages. I was very relieved and felt great for like two months. which you just confirmed. They will either realize they've made a mistake, or they move on, or maybe they're too afraid to approach you again. Dec 3, 2013 · Because they are afraid of you doing to them what they did to you. I do crave contact from him. A lot of people will go as far as to disappear off social media altogether. When we contact, we want to get the best result ever. a. That’s why during the No contact the dumper and the dumpee swap the feelings interchangeably. You don't truly know how they feel, breaking up is hard even as the dumper, and so they will push you away to make it easier. I don’t plan to reach out to my ex since he is the one who didn’t want to stay in contact and ended things, but I do hope he reaches out for some closure. But since you ended the contact I'm hesitant. But bear in mind, you as the dumper will have to take the first step, you need to walk back through the same door you walked out the first time, and reinitiate any effort of reconciliation Feb 7, 2021 · Three Most Common Behaviors We See Dumpers Exhibiting During No Contact I want to preface this by saying that about 80% of our clients were dumped by their exes so we have seen a LOT of dumpers face no contact rules and these three reactions are pretty standard across the board: I agree with most of what you say here. They contact you to comfort themselves and to get them through what they're feeling. Hope is fine, for a while. The best way to get an ex back is to use the no contact rule because it creates dumper val Mar 5, 2018 · If we take into consideration only the first 12 months after the breakup, a total of 86 dumpers broke no contact and contacted their exes after 7. The dumpee will feel this and may ask the dumper what is wrong? The dumper scared of consequences may lie, “I’m fine, I just need some time to myself etc”. If you genuinely love the person you dumped, why would you risk losing them like that? I want to understand the logic behind that choice. I’m not breaking NC, as I’ve done everything I can, but just a thought. If I truly wanted to reach out to him, I would. This means no texting, calling, social media, emailing, or anything else. Oct 9, 2024 · Stop thinking about how the dumper feels during no contact or what the no contact dumper’s point of view is. I was tired. and I'm not afraid to contact him. After ten years together, he started physically abusing me, so I - in fear - moved out and ended the relationship. The dumpee might get emotional and force the situation, the dumper will be extremely dismissive to shut the conversation (or as they see it the confrontation) down. I’d hate to see FA labeled people see your comment and use it as a reason never to try to improve or seek healthy relationships. Instead, they’re simply falling victim to their natural avoidant tendencies which makes most people think they’re afraid of contacting them. If a dumper is serious about reconciliation, it's up to them to put themselves out on a limb. I'm going to be covering things like, Why (even though you'll hate this) attachment styles are so important to understand The most common dumper and dumpee attachment pairing Understanding how the dumper actually feels The two Jan 18, 2024 · What are the common stages of no contact for someone who initiated the breakup? When it comes to the stages of no contact for the dumper, it’s like riding a roller coaster of emotions. I hope he reaches out one day. I heard that dumpers go through stages. 20 FUNNY AND USEFUL SCHOOL HACKS: DIY SCHOOL SUPPLY IDEAS AND MORE. I think it sucks either way The dumper scared of consequences may lie, “I’m fine, I just need some time to myself etc”. So the moment I found out she blocked me on everything, it felt like a huge weight was finally off my shoulders. Yes dumpers do sometimes feel bad but other times they don't. Apr 25, 2024 · Usually, fearful-avoidant dumpers just break up with you without giving any particular reason. The dumper scared of consequences may lie, “I’m fine, I just need some time to myself etc”. They've gone and left, most often for good. I would recommend that if you don’t HAVE to contact them like myself, you stay in no contact and focus on you :) Okay - what about this case: my ex wanted me to dump him so that he could play the victim to everyone in our lives. The dumper gets to process their emotions on thier on schedule. May 5, 2022 · https://www. Members Online Dumpers during no contact or decided to block - did you still think of your ex? After a year in a very intense and sometimes toxic relationship, the constant back forward ‘breaking up’ has come to an end and my ex decided he needed to block me on everything to move on. uncertainty or clarity may come next. The dumper made their decision, so stick to it and be a man/woman of your word. And if the dumper comes back as a result of NC, then that’s a bonus and a decision to consider. You can only do so much after so many rejections and I decided to walk away. A second chance could work. It’s absolutely hard for the dumper too. The first 2 times I broke up with my ex it was because her mental health was extremely exhausting (she’s been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, panic and bipolar disorder). an ex is an ex for a reason. I went NC right away but she always found a way to contact me. Even dumpers have to go through withdrawals, even if they’re emotionally detached. I would love to think it’s his ego, that he’s scared to be rejected, things like that. But not enough to contact me, and 5 months have passed since the breakup. Mar 5, 2018 · No contact is about the dumpee first, secondly about the dumpee and thirdly – about the dumpee. i think you know too much. While the dumper may seem unaffected or even detached from the breakup, their grief is indeed present, albeit camouflaged by coping mechanisms. I still love and care deeply for my ex, but the relationship became too toxic. I’m technically the dumper Are dumpers afraid to contact? Not afraid; they just don't want anything to do with "that relationship" anymore. If the answer to that is no then you might find it easier to simply just move on with your life. You can sit around thinking to yourself, “I’m afraid to contact my ex because I’m worried that she will reject me,” but that kind of fearful approach isn’t going to get her back. I had to block him due to some events that went down between us. Does not initiating contact work for the person who was dumped? no contact is a difficult process for both dumpers and dumpees. I think that was still too early in terms of any healing, and she kept the conversation super surface-level. 5 months later) and I think it being second time contributes more but I feel like I have really changed this time and honestly I think we might be even more Dec 28, 2021 · The worst mistake you can make during any of the stages of dumpers remorse is not giving your ex space — a. The longer you stay in a dumper's life as "just a friend," the less they respect you and the less attraction they feel for you. Ironically, now that i am dumped, i read everywhere that “if your ex want to contact you, they will. She kept trying to initiate contact, but I knew in my heart that I will never to trust her again, so it's best for both of us. Mar 22, 2022 · In short, I’m of the belief that most dumpers ARE NOT afraid to contact their exes. If she just dumped you and didn't communicate with you I'd 100% say not to contact her. I would caution against reaching out. Exceptions are always there. For example the dumper could say I’ll see how I feel after exams or something… dumpee usually gets blindsided and has to process with their emotions and carry on with life… that’s what fucks people up Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. Agreed a good SO will standby you, period. com/quiz/what-are-your-chances-of-getting-your-exboyfriend-back/ — Take our free 2-minute quiz to figure out what kind of cha I wouldn’t say I’m the dumper or the dumpee I forgot my social media login and haven’t been able to text my gf for a week and a half I literally would give anything to talk to her again but I already feel like she’s moved on thinking I just ghosted so idk if this helps but time wouldn’t effect much of anything either they will feel Oct 11, 2021 · Dumper’s remorse is an important concept to understand if you need to comprehend dumpers psychology. I’m the dumper and in my case. Then, they might experience a sense of guilt or doubt about their decision. But for dumpers, if you want to rekindle the relationship. Apr 17, 2007 · I had another thought, I know I know I need to stop thinking so much about this but I just can't seem to help it. 16 months on average. Its extremely foolish to think you hit gold twice, it can happen sure but a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush in my humble opinion. They might know that it’s advice given to people who were dumped to help them heal, but if you went no contact and didn’t tell them “I’m going no contact now”, there’s probably no way for them to know if you are using a specific strategy to heal faster, if you are trying to get them to miss you, or if you just don’t want to talk This is really exhausting especially for a well meaning dumper and may cause them to shut themselves off from the situation. As the man, it’s up to you to be confident enough in your attractiveness to take the lead in the ex back process and guide her back into a relationship The majority of dumpers are not afraid to contact dumpees. That said, it affects both the dumper and the dumpee. please share your post-breakup stages and experiences. Break ups are a chance for both the dumper and the dumpee to take stock and use the opportunity to grow. But if she was truly afraid of rejection or anxiety than she would reach out to you via friends or family about wanting to talk to you. But I’m slowly starting to find me again. Maybe they hate you, maybe they are fond of you. I've felt that way as a dumper so it's from my personal experience. The rules of no contact work in your favor! No contact has certain rules or restrictions for a reason. But if the dumper broke up due to loosing feels, greener grass, arguing, or anything that could be their fault, or mutual fault, it will never be the same. I think he detatched first but didn't have the guts to break up. You’re free to do whatever you like whenever you like. k. I'm sure some dumpers hope their ex reaches out. Like everyone is saying on here, if they are too scared or unsure about it, then why would you want someone back like that. It’s very hard because I still love her and I’m thinking about that dream we couldve shared. Alright so we first start with a philosophical question. If it matters, im a girl. Members Online Jul 7, 2023 · Today I'm going to take an in-depth look at how the dumper feels when the dumpee has moved on. These questions get asked everyday and there is only one correct answer: every person is different. I dumped my ex for a very valid reason in which he kept repeating patterns that I have spoken to him many times about, but fuck did he make me feel like the happiest girl in the world when we were together. I tried to rekindle once, but he showed me again that I had to do all the work, so I just disappeared. As you could be setting yourself up to be getting the cold treatment from her. Be with someone who is scared of losing you (because they see your value). Let’s look at the stages of no contact rule from both perspectives, to understand how: For the dumpee: Dumpers here might not want to out themselves :-) It's known that many dumpers can get remorse (even if they have cheated too BTW). About 25-30% of affairs reconcile and continue the relationship with the original Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. Are dumpers afraid to contact Dumpees? In short, I'm of the belief that most dumpers ARE NOT afraid to contact their exes. Hope got me through the first few months. Some are obvious if there was hurt one side caused the other but I don't believe we have that. Don’t worry that by not rushing in that your ex will think you’re not interested. May 2, 2020 · After all, with time, the dumpers view that you'll never change will disappear, but that's only possible with no contact, working on yourself, and letting your dumper wonder about you (you doing no contact with them is the complete opposite of smothering and depending on them - shows you are capable of it, against what your dumper believed). Members Online I was the dumper once (now im here being the dumpee). 6 months later of no contact, she’s had two new boyfriends and acts like I murdered her family if I bump into her Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. What if I regret that decision? I know maintaining the distance is good for the both of us, but lately its been tough. But I was so hurt. It’s habit just as much as it is for you. I cried for months. ovtyi ehlfn zbdt kpsa qmym mxtmcko upkmijg wnpw ixozihu piplq